Dating is a lot of fun, but there is a lot of work that runs behind the scenes. There are happy couples everywhere, and you are starting to wonder where your partner is hiding. But even if you met them right now, would you know they are right for you? How can you tell when you meet the love of your life? Is there a formula you can use?
Perhaps a magic spell?
The exciting thing about love and affection is that you never see it coming. When you think about it, it is scary because what if you miss your love train because you “couldn’t read signs” or “confused?” We meet different people every day; at work, during commutes, parties, or even dating sites. But how do you decide you want to establish something “more” with a person?
How Do You Identify A Partner?
On a personal basis, everyone looks for different qualities that would mark the perfect partner. Generally, they include physical appearances and mannerisms, but the lists get longer we interact more. So, what are the criteria for finding a compatible dating partner?
They Will Make Everything Better
In all honesty, no one is fully prepared for adulting or anything associated with it. It’s like you never catch a break. Even if your adult life is running smoothly, which I highly doubt it is, you will need someone to come home to at the end of the day. Not because you are lonely or helpless, but because they make everything better.
Your partner should be a source of happiness and inspiration, and when everything is not going great, you will still have each other.
Shared Values
When we were young, we believed that love is the strongest force that can withstand everything. Even at the onset of a relationship, we want to believe this so badly because it eliminates the differences between the two of you. But as the relationship plays out and the love is no longer blind, we start to perceive our partners as they really are.
If you and your partner conflict over moral values and beliefs that cannot be compromised, your relationship will be rocky for the entire period you date. Values tend to vary between individuals based on their priorities and preferences. Talking about your expectations and beliefs at the onset of a relationship will save you hurt and discomfort down the road.
Trust
Trust nobody- that is the basic life rule we learn from a very young age. If we are going, to be honest, trust is not for the weak-hearted, and neither is it for everything. It might take a long time to build a foundation of trust, but this is crucial if you consider life-long commitments with a person.
Your Body Settles
As weird as this sounds, you can use your body to determine how you feel about a person. Sexual attraction and compatibility are the basics of physical love, but how does your body respond to a particular person. Do you feel comfortable and safe around them? Is it easy for you to orgasm or cuddle with them? Trust your body because it will find its needs without conscious dictation.
Do You Share A Vision?
It doesn’t matter how much you love a person if your future plans do not align. This includes significant goals such as finances, family, spirituality, to preference goals like traveling.
Compromising your plans and goals might seem okay at the start, but it will only build up resentment and guilt over the years. On the other hand, shared goals act as your bearing towards the future. They give structure and purpose to your life together.
It will help in guiding your life choices through every situation. When you are in the talking stage, it’s crucial to talk about your lifestyle goals to determine whether you’ll stick around.
Do They Know When They Are Wrong?
If you have spent any time in front of the television or on the internet, then you are familiar with the phrase “women are always right.” People make fun of it, and it has somehow been accepted as a universal truth.
However, it is important for partners to realize when they are wrong and when to apologize. People who love, value, and respect you will find a way to work through conflict instead of initiating blame games.
If you find that you are the one always having to apologize to save a situation, you should sit back and evaluate your life choices. Sucking up to someone never ends well, so walk away with your dignity intact.
Yes, You Like Them, But Are You Really Interested?
As you interact more with people, you will realize that liking someone does not necessarily mean being interested in their lives. Perhaps you are attracted by their looks or social status, but you wouldn’t care about what goes on in their lives. This kind of attraction is perfect for flings and one-night stands, but not if you genuinely like a person.
When you love someone, you take a deep interest in every detail in their lives, such as work, their family, past stories. This helps you understand your partner a lot better, and it allows you to be part of their everyday life.
However, please learn the difference between interest and stalk-ish behavior. You don’t want to be the creepy partner.
They Are a Support Structure
You have probably figured out by now just how tough adulting can get, and you understand how important it is for someone to have your back. However, they don’t have to be the strong ones all the time. Your partner should be vulnerable enough to ask for help. Being vulnerable with each other deepens your bond and trust.
All in all, other factors come into play when you are dating someone. Some are based entirely on preference, such as material possessions or physical appearance, while others are beyond our control, such as culture and religion. Either way, making it work depends on your communication and respect for one another.